Setting Boundaries

Dear Sappho,

My girlfriend is almost always late. For important events she runs 15-20 minutes late, for events she considers unimportant she could be as much as 1-2 hours late. I tell her that it shows lack of consideration and respect, she replies that’s their problem and that she is running her life on her schedule not theirs. Frankly, I’m embarrassed by her behavior, what can I do to get her be on time? I’ve tried everything I can think of.

Same Sex Marriage Rights

 Dear Sappho,

My lover wants to get married and I don’t, she thinks marriage makes sense and that it is the most practical solution to meeting our needs both financially and emotionally I see that it has all the responsibilities without all of the privileges. She has been married before and I have not. I am happy to arrange our financial assets in other ways, such as joint ownership or as a trust, but I am uneasy about the whole archetype of marriage. I’m afraid my lover will leave me if I don’t marry her...

Help

Sexism, Racism and Homophobia

Dear Sappho,

Were you influenced and limited by homophobia during your lifetime and if so how did it affect your writing, and your love life? 

Advice for Women Who Can’t Say No

Dear Sappho,

I have trouble saying no, especially to my girlfriend. I was raised to be pleasant and a people pleaser and I hate disappointing anyone, especially her. I find myself saying yes or maybe when I really want to say no in the first place. It’s usually no big deal, but my girlfriend has started calling me on it. Do you have some advice or tactic I can use to help me say no to begin with, and mean it?

Girls Out Night

Dear Sappho,

I am a lesbian in my thirties who has been is in a committed relationship for about three years now. My girl friend and I live together, we are very much in love, and we spend most of our time together, but - I’m missing time alone with my old friends. I miss just hanging out with the girls.

My girlfriend is a little insecure about me going out without her. I have tried to tell her it’s healthy for lesbians to hang out with other lesbians, but she believes it could lead to extra curricular sexual or romantic activities. I think it will lead to less co-dependency and more freedom to have, make, and keep friends. Can you help me try to convince her that a Girls Out Night is good for both of us?