Emotionally Unfulfilled

Dear Sappho

I’m not sure if I should follow my heart or head on this one. I have been seeing a woman for about 6 months. We have great chemistry, hot sex and have a lot of fun and laughs together. My friends tell me she’s “The One” and I think so too. Recently she asked me to live with her. She was forced to lose her wonderful house after a split up from a long relationship. I would love to live with her, actually more than anything in the world. The problem is; she has never told me she loved me.

I have never been in a love relationship this long without both of us saying we loved each other, or more usually that we are in love with other. I’ve learned not to be mushy or needy with her. I want to take a chance and live with her but I am afraid of taking this kind of a risk with someone who is not emotionally available. What would you do?

Dyke Drama Queens

Dear Sappho,

Why does it seem like most dykes are so emotionally immature and or insecure? Here's an example; I know three woman named Jan, Jane and Janet. Jan left Jane for Janet and they are the talk of the town - but no one can keep their names straight, least of all, themselves. There seems to be lots of needless jealousy and gossip amongst the Girls. I'm sick and tired of Dyke Drama Queens and Dyke Soap Operas.  Jealousy issues are the worse and no one seems immune from thinking their girl friend will run off next. What is the problem with all the dyke drama in lesbian communities?

Using Gaydar to Detect Sexual Orientation

Dear Sappho,

You said that the ancient Greeks did not conceive of sexual orientation as a form of social identity as Western societies have done for the past century. In this post racist world wouldn’t it be nice to look at each person separately and not think in terms of race, color, sex, gender, or creed but the human being inside. 

What a different world it would be if we did not have to see it in such strict terms of duality: male, female, butch, fem, boy, girl. I mean are there really differences between straight and gay people? That got me thinking about gaydar, sexual identity and how to tell the difference. Do you have gaydar and how do you define your sexual orientation?

Homophobia is a Disease

Dear Sappho,

Homophobia is rampant in modern day society, especially in the Bible Belt and Republican dominated states. It is probably the major cause of teen suicide and sanctioned by bullies as a natural cure for homosexuality.

I found you on Twitter and even though there are thousands of gay activists on Twitter I find homophobia exists there as well. What do you suspect is the major cause for homophobia and can it be cured. Did you deal with homophobia in your time on Lesbos and if so, how? 

Homophobia is a Disease 

Sexual Identity: Is it Natural or Socially Constructed

Dear Sappho,

Is sexual identity and orientation natural or essential to the person or is it socially constructed and subject to change? Are people born gay or is it a personal decision to become gay? 


How did your society think and act about homosexuality and sexual orientation in ancient Greece? I think I might be naturally gay myself.

Sappho's Curriculum

Dear Sappho,

I understand you had a school for girls that taught both the graces and the ways of love and wisdom. Some have compared your school to that of Socrates and his school for men. I am in education and I would like to know what the curriculum for these types of knowledge and some specifics about the outcomes expected. I am especially interested in hearing more about how your school devoted itself to the cult of Aphrodite and Eros. Any specific information about how you did this would be much appreciated.

A Lifetime Learner

Were Lesbians More Romantic on Lesbos?

Dear Sappho.

Were Lesbians more romantic in your time? I am so disappointed with the overall consciousness and emotional maturity of most lesbians I meet. I’m not expecting a superior caste of woman but I was hoping for kindness, awareness, self-actualization and last but not least some hot romance. The kind of romance I’m talking about involves flowers, poetry, wine, slow long kisses and a deeper higher form of love.

I don’t want my relationship to be a reasonable facsimile of a mediocre heterosexual marriage. I want true love, true romance and deep connections. When I look out at the motley crew of lesbians available for dating I see some real miscreants, who I would not even want to be friends with - let alone lovers or life partners. Am I being unrealistic or are there some sweet romantic lesbians like me out there looking for the same thing. I may need a reality check….

What Does Love Mean to You?

Dear Sappho,

I think I am in love with a woman who has never really been in love before. Not that she hasn’t had ample opportunity. She has had several long love relationships that involved, children, property and deep important commitments. When we talk about love, philosophically because we are not intimate she confides to me that she has never been truly, deeply, knocked you off her feet ecstatically in love. To me this is the very definition of being in love. It doesn’t happen often or always end happily but this is how I define love.

My question to you is; what does love means to you? How would you define being in love? How does one teach love? Can two people with such different definitions of love be in an ecstatic healthy long lasting love relationship? And on a personal note, although I realize you are Sappho and not Sigmund Freud, do you think that either one of us has a skewed perspective on love?


  

Please Describe the Sapphic Meter

Dear Sappho,

Is there really a poetry meter named after you? Could you please describe that style and explain a little bit about the various terms regarding your poetry form and technique. It seems specific but I can't put my finger on the precise form. Thank you. I am a poet myself and a lifelong huge fan and admirer of your poetry.
Sincerely,
Cathy

Sappho Who?

Who is Sappho anyway?
Just Wondering.....