Sex Is Not Enough

Dear Sappho,

I am a single lesbian looking for true love. I live in Northern California and have no problem hooking up with other lesbians. There is a vibrant community here and also lots of online dating opportunities. The problem is finding a woman that makes my heart sing and my spirit soar.  I assumed that with so many choices I would have several heartthrobs - but so far my dates have been lukewarm without any life changers. I want deep fulfilling lasting passion and love. Where can I find it, if not here? 
Sex is not enough.

Gender and Sex Are Not Interchangeable Terms

Dear Sappho,

How many sexes or genders are there and how are they defined? I suspect there are at least 4 and possibly as many as 8. It seems like we not living in a black and white world any more that is limited to just males & females. There are many shades of grey that make the world seem much more complicated. 

Bisexuals are Not Gay

Dear Sappho,

I’m rather tired of being called gay when I am bi. Seems society thinks all bi men are gay and all lesbians are bi which is so stupid. Bisexuals are not lesbians. Sometimes lesbians become bisexuals. I like to keep them guessing.

Lesbians are Not Bisexuals

Dear Sappho,

I have a super crush on a nurse I work with. I know she s a lesbian and up until now I have lived my life as a want to be bisexual. Although most of my relationships have been with men, I find myself constantly fantasizing about women. Now all of those women have become the face and embodiment of this one particular woman that I can’t stop thinking about, and believe me, I have tried.

I want to connect with her and I am curious if lesbians would sleep with or could come to love a bisexual woman? Is there some sort of political sexual protocol or unspoken code of honor about lesbians sleeping with bisexual women?

Keeping Your Sexual Chakras Open

Dear Sappho,

I have a sexually adventurous girlfriend. Every time we make love she wants to up the ante and I’m afraid I will eventually run out of steam or tricks to whet her appetite. Do you know of any sure fire sexual techniques that outlast the test of time and adventure?

Waning but Willing 

The Sweetest Cherry Just Out of Reach

Dear Sappho,

Have you ever had to deal with unrequited love? If so, how does one manage to continue loving in the face of adversity, rejection or hopelessness. When I first fell in love with this spectacular woman I didn’t realize every other woman in town had their eye on her as well. It breaks my heart that we will never be partners or lovers, but I refuse to not let myself love her. How does a passionate woman like me or a poet like you come to terms with unrequited love?

Unrequited Lover

What Charms You Most?

Dear Sappho,

Regarding the infinite and varied charms of the women you have loved, what charms you Most?

Curious

Hymn to Aphrodite

Glittering-Minded deathless Aphrodite,

I beg you, Zeus’s daughter, weaver of snares,

Don’t shatter my heart with fierce

Pain, goddess,

But come now, if ever before

You heard my voice, far off, and listened,

And left your father’s golden house,

And came,

Yoking your chariot. Lovely the swift

Sparrows that brought you over black earth

A whirring of wings through mid-air

Down the sky.

They came. And you, sacred one,

Smiling with deathless face, asking

What now, while I suffer: why now

I cry out to you, again:

What now I desire above all in my

Mad heart. ‘Whom now, shall I persuade

To admit you again to her love,

Sappho, who wrongs you now?

If she runs now she’ll follow later,

If she refuses gifts she’ll give them.

If she loves not, now, she’ll soon

Love against her will.’

Come to me now, then, free me

From aching care, and win me

All my heart longs to win. You,

Be my friend.

Emotional Maturity = Growing Up

Dear Sappho,

I’m at a lost at how to deal with my parents and their reactions to their adult children’s choices and lifestyles. I’m a lesbian and they seem to think they have a role in choosing my girlfriends. One sister is straight with five kids but they try to tell her how to raise her kids and live her life on a daily basis. Another sister is divorced with no intention of ever getting married again and every conversation they have with her revolves on finding her a husband. We laugh about it when we aren’t pulling our hair out. Life choices they don’t approve of are ignored or boycotted.

Without realizing it they use emotional blackmail and judgmental tactics in an attempt to control our behaviors. Which might explain why none of us is married, or in a traditional relationship. They don’t realize they are teaching us through negative example, and the most important lesson we seemed to have learned from them is to not repeat their mistakes or follow their advice regarding relationship and career choices. Any choice we make is open to their unwelcome criticism and judgment. It is of particular concern that they proclaim anything or anyone they don’t approve of as crazy or mentally ill. I’m getting tired of waiting for my parents to grow up….

Even Alice B. Toklas Had Trouble

dear Sappho

Even Alice B. Toklas had trouble with Gertrude Stein’s relatives. Although Gertrude Stein clearly left all of her possessions to Alice in a will that stated if necessary all art could be sold for Alice’s upkeep, Stein’s relatives seized the valuable  art collection and failed to provide timely remittances for Alice to buy food or pay rent. There are about 1,049 federal laws that benefit legally married couples that are not granted to civil unions or gay marriage. How safe are your family’s assets?

Please inform your readers how they can legally protect their family's assets.