The Sweetest Cherry Just Out of Reach

Dear Sappho,

Have you ever had to deal with unrequited love? If so, how does one manage to continue loving in the face of adversity, rejection or hopelessness. When I first fell in love with this spectacular woman I didn’t realize every other woman in town had their eye on her as well. It breaks my heart that we will never be partners or lovers, but I refuse to not let myself love her. How does a passionate woman like me or a poet like you come to terms with unrequited love?

Unrequited Lover

What Charms You Most?

Dear Sappho,

Regarding the infinite and varied charms of the women you have loved, what charms you Most?

Curious

Hymn to Aphrodite

Glittering-Minded deathless Aphrodite,

I beg you, Zeus’s daughter, weaver of snares,

Don’t shatter my heart with fierce

Pain, goddess,

But come now, if ever before

You heard my voice, far off, and listened,

And left your father’s golden house,

And came,

Yoking your chariot. Lovely the swift

Sparrows that brought you over black earth

A whirring of wings through mid-air

Down the sky.

They came. And you, sacred one,

Smiling with deathless face, asking

What now, while I suffer: why now

I cry out to you, again:

What now I desire above all in my

Mad heart. ‘Whom now, shall I persuade

To admit you again to her love,

Sappho, who wrongs you now?

If she runs now she’ll follow later,

If she refuses gifts she’ll give them.

If she loves not, now, she’ll soon

Love against her will.’

Come to me now, then, free me

From aching care, and win me

All my heart longs to win. You,

Be my friend.

Emotional Maturity = Growing Up

Dear Sappho,

I’m at a lost at how to deal with my parents and their reactions to their adult children’s choices and lifestyles. I’m a lesbian and they seem to think they have a role in choosing my girlfriends. One sister is straight with five kids but they try to tell her how to raise her kids and live her life on a daily basis. Another sister is divorced with no intention of ever getting married again and every conversation they have with her revolves on finding her a husband. We laugh about it when we aren’t pulling our hair out. Life choices they don’t approve of are ignored or boycotted.

Without realizing it they use emotional blackmail and judgmental tactics in an attempt to control our behaviors. Which might explain why none of us is married, or in a traditional relationship. They don’t realize they are teaching us through negative example, and the most important lesson we seemed to have learned from them is to not repeat their mistakes or follow their advice regarding relationship and career choices. Any choice we make is open to their unwelcome criticism and judgment. It is of particular concern that they proclaim anything or anyone they don’t approve of as crazy or mentally ill. I’m getting tired of waiting for my parents to grow up….

Even Alice B. Toklas Had Trouble

dear Sappho

Even Alice B. Toklas had trouble with Gertrude Stein’s relatives. Although Gertrude Stein clearly left all of her possessions to Alice in a will that stated if necessary all art could be sold for Alice’s upkeep, Stein’s relatives seized the valuable  art collection and failed to provide timely remittances for Alice to buy food or pay rent. There are about 1,049 federal laws that benefit legally married couples that are not granted to civil unions or gay marriage. How safe are your family’s assets?

Please inform your readers how they can legally protect their family's assets. 

Having Cancer is Worse than Being Gay

Dear Sappho,

I was recently diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer mets to my bones. I was surprised to find out that telling people I have cancer is worse that telling people I am a lesbian. It’s almost like I told them I have leprosy. I am doing well and expect to live a long time with treatment options and sheer determination. My friends and coworkers don’t want to hear that I am ill. One suggested I keep such information to myself. Not that I’m looking for sympathy, and I do appear to be healthy and normal. But I am still in a bit of disbelief that having cancer is now less acceptable than being gay. Is this good or bad news for the lesbian community at large? 

Cancer is Worse than Being Gay

Requirements for Long Term Lesbian Relationships

Dear Sappho,

What do you think is the most important quality in a long-term lesbian relationship?

Love, sex, acceptance, mutual goals & visions and compatibly are very important but so is reliability, and trust. First I followed my heart then my head and now my gut. Lesbian relationships are different from straight relationships. I’m asking you as the High Priestess Lesbian, what is the best requirement for long-term happiness?

Flirting with Impunity

Dear Sappho,

I love to flirt but find it is usually a labor of love to flirt with other lesbians. Some are too politically correct or uptight to return the favor. Others take it the wrong way and act like I’m proposing we spend our lives together. Gay men seem to have fun flirting and they even flirt with straight men as a form of wordplay. Lesbians seem a little heavy handed in the flirting dept. Do you notice this as well and how does one flirt with impunity anyway?

Before the Flowers of Friendship Faded, Friendship Faded

21 

by Gertrude Stein

(from Before the Flowers of Friendship Faded)

I love my love with a v

Because it is like that

I love my love with a b

Because I am beside that

A king.

I love my love with an a

Because she is a queen

I love my love and a a is the best of them

Think well and be a king,

Think more and think again

I love my love with a dress and a hat

I love my love and not with this or with that

I love my love with a y because she is my bride

I love her with a d because she is my love beside

Thank you for being there

Nobody has to care

Thank you for being here

Because you are not there.

And with and without me which is and without she she can be late and then and how and all around we think and found

that it is time to cry she and I.

An Incomplete Portrait of Gertrude Stein