Dear Young Lovers
The archetypes of human behavior are models that are used as symbols, stereotypes myths, and epitomes. Carl Jung believed that archetypes are “ancient or archaic images that derive from the
collective unconscious.” Marriage is such an archetype. When one enters into marriage one enters into the mainstream of how marriage is defined as a social obligation, expectation and course of direction. It is a moral path, putting the marriage, the children and the survival of the marriage beyond the value of the individuals involved. Many aspects of marriage have been misinterpreted and used as methods of domination. Including the creed that everyone must get married and conform to the archetype of marriage.
I prefer the idea of Partnership over the Archetype of Marriage. I realize that married couples get hundreds of additional rights and privileges that legally registered domestic partners do not get. I am not talking about the legal aspects here, although I do believe that full equality for all citizens is the correct constitutional interpretation.
Riane Eisler, founder of The Partnership Way and one of the 100 most influential thinkers of the 20
th Century defines the framework and ideology of
Partnership in her book The Chalice and the Blade. She compares the values of partnership to domination as a modality for interaction. A dominator model is an approach used to have power over, rather than power with. A partnership is more of a collaborative teamwork approach and Eisler gives methods and resources in her book Tools for a Partnership World.
A partnership in a business context is a joint working arrangement where the partners are otherwise independent but equally invested parties who agree to co-operate to achieve common goals or outcomes. Each partnership creates it’s own individual structure or process to achieve it’s goal. Partners share relevant information, and pool risks and rewards.
Dominator methods of power and control may include secrecy, coercion, fear, manipulation, and other forceful manners of control to dominate. The dominator way uses violence and codependency against others whereas the partnership way uses empathy with others as a framework to create interdependency. The partnership approach is about creating a win win situation that includes participation, trust, openness, and mutual benefits for all involved partners.
Gary Zukave writes about how, “Marriage is being replaced with a new archetype that is designed to assist spiritual growth. This is the archetype of spiritual, holy or sacred partnership. The archetype of marriage was designed to assist physical survival.” The archetype of Spiritual Partners or Soul Mates is to assist in spiritual growth and support.
Partnership is easily attainable by normal people within a partnership model. Instead of the marriage itself, the contributions of the individual partners to support each other in their growth and purpose as emotionally mature and spiritually conscious human beings becomes the important goal. That my friends is the difference between a soul mate and a spouse, although it is possible to have, or be, both. It's all what you agree on and define as partnership from the beginning of your relationship that determines how you will proceed.
Visualizing a Higher Love
Sappho
