What is True Love?

Dear Sappho,

What is true love? How do you know when you’ve found it? How would you define your true loves? How can you definitively know that your love is true when looking at it from the past, the future, on the side, or in the present? Is such a love destiny or chance? What type of love is truer than true love?

Lesbian Visibility Butch or Fem

Dear Sappho,

What’s the story on butch fem gender roles within lesbian relationships? Is it mandatory, is it discussed, chosen and is it normal? I don’t know if I’m butch or fem, I consider myself androgynous and to tell you the truth I am uncomfortable when I see extreme caricatures of either.

Why Would Anyone Chose to be Gay?

Sappho,

I can’t understand why some people think being gay is a choice. I was born gay. The signs have all been there since I was 3 years old. I was always a tomboy who preferred boy’s toys and games over dolls and make-up. I was compelled to be gay - if I was to continue being true to myself. It’s not like I had a choice. I feel like my sexual orientation was predetermined by my DNA and possibly past lifetime experiences. In fact I enjoy being gay.

Born Gay

Sappho’s Charm School

Dear Sappho,

I understand you operated a finishing school for women on Lesbos in the 5^th century BCE. I am interested in what topics you covered and the finished product of your program. Many young women could use a mentor that could introduce them to achieving a charming life. What did you teach?

Ms Manners

Living is the First Art

Dear Sappho

What lesbian couples have influenced and inspired you in your artistic and literary pursuits?

Pursuing Art

Bisexual Lovers

Dear Sappho,

Do you have any passionate examples of bisexual love between women??

Tell me a good one please.

Honoring the Loss of a Beloved Spirit

Dear Sappho,

How did the ancient world deal with and honor the loss of a loved one who has died? We believe in an afterlife, which many believe is linked to a reward or punishment system. Do you believe in karma or reincarnation? I just lost a beloved pet and am pondering loss, death and mortality.

Grieving

Alice B. Toklas Brownies

Dear Sappho,

What in the world does Alice B. Toklas have to do with marijuana brownies?

Do you have the recipe?


Epicurean 

Lesbian Seagulls and Gay Giraffes

Dear Sappho,

Back in the 70’s I remember hearing about a group of lesbian seagulls from Santa Cruz who had reproduced via parthenogenesis, is there any truth to this legend?

Gullible

Sappho’s Girlfriends

Dear Sappho,

We know that Sappho was the most famous woman writer of the ancient world and that many of her poems were addressed to women. Who were Sappho’s girlfriends and what did she write to them?

Want to Know

How to Survive Republican Out-laws

Dear Sappho,

My girlfriend’s parents are Republicans and unfortunately we visited them the week of the GOP Convention. Their racism and ignorance of the budget issues was astounding, but their hatred of President Obama and taxes was shocking. I said some things I regret and now I’m wondering how to repair this political rift since I intend to have a very long relationship with their daughter who agrees with me by the way. I call them my outlaws because we aren’t actually married but how can I survive my Republican in-laws?

The Art of Making Love

Dear Sappho,

How is it that some women know exactly what to say and do to make you feel loved and supported? How does one learn to express affection, communicate with charm, and comport one’s self with grace concerning love. Is this something you can teach or is it an innate talent and gift from Venus? How can I elevate love to an art?

Tones of Flirting

Dear Sappho,
I’ve noticed that every time my girlfriend talks to one of her friends the tone of her voice changes. She sounds like she is flirting to me - but she denies that she is flirting or that she has any feelings like that for her friend. Do some lesbians change the tone of their voice when flirting? How can you tell?

Coming Out and First Love

Dear Sappho,

I know I am a lesbian who is emotionally and sexually attracted to other women, the problem is I am still a virgin "in love" with my straight best friend. I don't know where to find a girl friend that I will feel as passionately about as I do about my friend. My friend knows how I feel but tells me that although she loves me too, she doesn't feel the "same way about me" because she loves men. Do you have any advice for me?

Falling in Love Again

Dear Sappho,

I love falling in love and have fallen in love many times during my 37 years. I have been accused of being addicted to love, yet - I can find no higher purpose to serve. How many times does the average person fall in love during a lifetime? 

Evolving from Homosapiens to Homonoeticus

Dear Sappho,

It seems like the human race has devolved since your time on the planet. Heterosexuality was not compulsive and the arts flourished. Now we have global warming, mass violence and corporate greed destroying the fabric of our society. You didn’t have guns and now guns in the US kill 30,000 people every year. Please tell me how you see humanity surviving into the future. 

Your Brain In Love and Intimacy

Dear Sappho,

I know I am in love with another woman. It seems like every song is to her, every thought I have is of her, and I can’t stop these lovely feelings, nor do I want to. The problem is she does not express her feelings easily. I don’t know if she fears intimacy is incapable of intimacy or just doesn’t feel the same way I do. Do you have any insight on love and intimacy and the difference between them?

To Atthis

Sappho is currently visiting her friend Erinna, a fellow poet on Greek Island of Tilos in the Aegean Sea archipelago. She hopes you will like her poem.

To Atthis

Though in Sardis now,
 she thinks of us constantly and of the life we shared.
 
She saw you as a Goddess
 and above all your dancing gave her deep joy.


Now she shines among Lydian women like 
the rose-fingered Moon
 
rising after sundown, erasing all stars around her, and pouring light equally
 
across the salt sea
 and over densely flowered fields lucent under dew. 


Her light spreads
 on roses and tender thyme
 and the blooming honey-lotus.
Often while she wanders she remem
bers you, gentle Atthis, 

and desire eats away at her heart for us to come.

I Dedicate this Song to You

Dear Sappho,

I recently amused myself by compiling a play list of all the love songs I have ever had with all of my serious lovers. I then asked my girlfriend, not for the first time, what her song with her ex was. She told me again, she couldn’t remember or doesn’t know. I was flabbergasted, how could she not know “their” song after more than 10 years of living together.  Either she’s very discrete, diplomatic or completely unsentimental. I have even had songs for women I have just had a crush on. What criteria do you use for picking a love song and how come everyone doesn’t have one?

Celebrate World Kiss Day

Dear Sappho,

World Kiss Day is July 6th, I loved your article on National Kissing Day last year. I was just wondering if you have anything new to say about kissing this year. I am a kissing aficionado, though far from the expert I’d like to be. Any tips would be much appreciated.

OXO