Sunday, January 29, 2012

Soul Mates, Spiritual Growth and Partnership

Dear Young Lovers

The archetypes of human behavior are models that are used as symbols, stereotypes myths, and epitomes. Carl Jung believed that archetypes are “ancient or archaic images that derive from the collective unconscious.” Marriage is such an archetype. When one enters into marriage one enters into the mainstream of how marriage is defined as a social obligation, expectation and course of direction. It is a moral path, putting the marriage, the children and the survival of the marriage beyond the value of the individuals involved. Many aspects of marriage have been misinterpreted and used as methods of domination. Including the creed that everyone must get married and conform to the archetype of marriage.

I prefer the idea of Partnership over the Archetype of Marriage. I realize that married couples get hundreds of additional rights and privileges that legally registered domestic partners do not get. I am not talking about the legal aspects here, although I do believe that full equality for all citizens is the correct constitutional interpretation.

Riane Eisler, founder of The Partnership Way and one of the 100 most influential thinkers of the 20th Century defines the framework and ideology of Partnership in her book The Chalice and the Blade. She compares the values of partnership to domination as a modality for interaction. A dominator model is an approach used to have power over, rather than power with. A partnership is more of a collaborative teamwork approach and Eisler gives methods and resources in her book Tools for a Partnership World.

A partnership in a business context is a joint working arrangement where the partners are otherwise independent but equally invested parties who agree to co-operate to achieve common goals or outcomes. Each partnership creates it’s own individual structure or process to achieve it’s goal. Partners share relevant information, and pool risks and rewards.

Dominator methods of power and control may include secrecy, coercion, fear, manipulation, and other forceful manners of control to dominate. The dominator way uses violence and codependency against others whereas the partnership way uses empathy with others as a framework to create interdependency. The partnership approach is about creating a win win situation that includes participation, trust, openness, and mutual benefits for all involved partners.

Gary Zukave writes about how, “Marriage is being replaced with a new archetype that is designed to assist spiritual growth. This is the archetype of spiritual, holy or sacred partnership. The archetype of marriage was designed to assist physical survival.” The archetype of Spiritual Partners or Soul Mates is to assist in spiritual growth and support.

Partnership is easily attainable by normal people within a partnership model. Instead of the marriage itself, the contributions of the individual partners to support each other in their growth and purpose as emotionally mature and spiritually conscious human beings becomes the important goal. That my friends is the difference between a soul mate and a spouse, although it is possible to have, or be, both. It's all what you agree on and define as partnership from the beginning of your relationship that determines how you will proceed. 

Visualizing a Higher Love
Sappho

Monday, January 23, 2012

Henpecked Lesbians? Yes, dear....


Dear Sappho
I have finally come to the realization that I am a henpecked lesbian. I know I’m not the only one. Please ask your readers if they are they inclined to submit or willing to surrender in order to placate or please another? If everything you do or say appears to be wrong in the eyes of your significant other, you may be henpecked.

My girlfriend uses harassment and persistent nagging to get her way 98% of the time. I still love her but I don’t know how much longer I can live with her. Counseling failed to solve our disputes. In fact she acted like a self-righteous parent while detailing all my faults and none of her own during counseling. Our counselor pointed out that her behaviors appeared authoritative and dominating to no avail. She quit counseling and I continued, focusing instead on my self-esteem.

I would like this woman who I have loved long and hard to just live and let live. I long for her to appreciate my contributions and not dwell on what she considers to be my flaws. I’m always wrong and she’s always right - without exception ` from the way I eat, talk, walk, or conduct my day, She puts words in my mouth and reads thoughts from my head, none were which I thought or said. Is this considered mental or emotional abuse? Is it possible to break this pattern or should I just look for a new place to live while I still have any self-esteem left at all?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Is Jealousy in Homosexual Relationships Different?

Dear Sappho
Jealousy in homosexual relationships is really not much different than jealousy in heterosexual relationships, is it? Are lesbians more jealous than straight women? Are gay men less jealous than straight men? What do you have to say about jealousy?

Shades of Green

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Life, Liberty and the Right to Pursue Happiness in Love

Dear Sappho,

I don’t understand how some cultures, religions or people can tell other people whom they can or cannot love. Here in America the text of the second section of the Declaration of Independence reads: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Article 1 of the UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS states: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of humanity."

How could there possibly be any legal question or argument to prohibit the right of some to love?

Joan of Heart