Emotionally Unfulfilled

Dear Sappho

I’m not sure if I should follow my heart or head on this one. I have been seeing a woman for about 6 months. We have great chemistry, hot sex and have a lot of fun and laughs together. My friends tell me she’s “The One” and I think so too. Recently she asked me to live with her. She was forced to lose her wonderful house after a split up from a long relationship. I would love to live with her, actually more than anything in the world. The problem is; she has never told me she loved me.

I have never been in a love relationship this long without both of us saying we loved each other, or more usually that we are in love with other. I’ve learned not to be mushy or needy with her. I want to take a chance and live with her but I am afraid of taking this kind of a risk with someone who is not emotionally available. What would you do?

Dyke Drama Queens

Dear Sappho,

Why does it seem like most dykes are so emotionally immature and or insecure? Here's an example; I know three woman named Jan, Jane and Janet. Jan left Jane for Janet and they are the talk of the town - but no one can keep their names straight, least of all, themselves. There seems to be lots of needless jealousy and gossip amongst the Girls. I'm sick and tired of Dyke Drama Queens and Dyke Soap Operas.  Jealousy issues are the worse and no one seems immune from thinking their girl friend will run off next. What is the problem with all the dyke drama in lesbian communities?

Using Gaydar to Detect Sexual Orientation

Dear Sappho,

You said that the ancient Greeks did not conceive of sexual orientation as a form of social identity as Western societies have done for the past century. In this post racist world wouldn’t it be nice to look at each person separately and not think in terms of race, color, sex, gender, or creed but the human being inside. 

What a different world it would be if we did not have to see it in such strict terms of duality: male, female, butch, fem, boy, girl. I mean are there really differences between straight and gay people? That got me thinking about gaydar, sexual identity and how to tell the difference. Do you have gaydar and how do you define your sexual orientation?