Why is Sappho Called the Tenth Muse?

Dear Sappho,

Why is Sappho called the Tenth Muse? What qualities, attributes or gifts has she bestowed on humanity that would make her worthy of such a title?

Curious 

Sappho Claus

Dear Sappho Claus,

Please send me a woman to truly love. I am visualizing a passionate Goddess or, at least a High Priestess of Love. I’d prefer if she were a Muse who is also amused by me. Someone who is smart, sexy, charming, and evolved. A woman who loves the arts. Be sure she is someone who loves me (almost) as much as I love her. 

Make her someone who highly motivates me to be better than I already am, although I assure you that I am already a very good girl. 

Gift Free and Guilt Free

Dear Sappho,

I am the only unmarried childless member of my large family and I am expected to give gifts to many nieces, nephews etc. who usually don’t even bother to call and thank me. I’m considering going gift free this year, what do you think?

Happiness, Misery and the Law of Attraction

Dear Sappho,

I am losing my faith in love and romance. I have not been in a relationship for a long time and am losing all hope of ever being in one. I suppose I could go out and meet other women but I get sad when I see happy couples out and about enjoying themselves. It’s even worse at the holidays, I am hiding away more and more and fear becoming bitter. I doubt if you can help me, mostly I just want to vent.

Pansexuals, Heterosexuals and Pomosexuals, Oh My

Dear Sappho,

I thought that your "Bisexuals are Not Gay" was a nice post. Don't forget about pansexuality, which I've seen a great amount of pansexuals lately, which is where they are completely 50/50 on their sexuality. They prefer nothing over anything.

Queen! Cyprian!

You know the place then

Leave Crete and come to us waiting

Where the grove is pleasantest, by precincts

Sacred to you: incense smokes on the altar,

Cold streams murmur through the apple branches,

A young rose thicket shades the ground

Quivering leaves pour down deep sleep

In meadows where horses have grown sleek

Among spring flowers, dill scent the air

Queen! Cyprian!

Fill our golden cups with love

Stirred into clear nectar ~~~

Love is Like Tea - It Needs to Steep Awhile

Dear Sappho,

This is not a question but a letter of celebration. Last year after my wife and domestic partner of 20 some years died, I was blank and heart broken. I literally did not know what to do with myself.  I pursued healing through support groups where I eventually met my new love. She is almost 20 years younger. Never could I have imagined that such love and passion could be resurrected out of such despair. I wasn’t expecting it but we fell in love and now live together.

I am amazed mostly about how every day, each relationship milestone becomes a new layer revealing new meanings of love. Not all good or perfect, but satisfying, and quickly evolving to deeper layers. Things I never thought about or simply took for granted in my old relationship are like revelations. It makes me feel both young again and a little insecure. Which makes me vulnerable, which makes my girlfriend love me more. Or so she says. Mainly I want to let your middle aged readers know that young love blooms when you least expect it. 

Sex Is Not Enough

Dear Sappho,

I am a single lesbian looking for true love. I live in Northern California and have no problem hooking up with other lesbians. There is a vibrant community here and also lots of online dating opportunities. The problem is finding a woman that makes my heart sing and my spirit soar.  I assumed that with so many choices I would have several heartthrobs - but so far my dates have been lukewarm without any life changers. I want deep fulfilling lasting passion and love. Where can I find it, if not here? 
Sex is not enough.

Gender and Sex Are Not Interchangeable Terms

Dear Sappho,

How many sexes or genders are there and how are they defined? I suspect there are at least 4 and possibly as many as 8. It seems like we not living in a black and white world any more that is limited to just males & females. There are many shades of grey that make the world seem much more complicated. 

Bisexuals are Not Gay

Dear Sappho,

I’m rather tired of being called gay when I am bi. Seems society thinks all bi men are gay and all lesbians are bi which is so stupid. Bisexuals are not lesbians. Sometimes lesbians become bisexuals. I like to keep them guessing.

Lesbians are Not Bisexuals

Dear Sappho,

I have a super crush on a nurse I work with. I know she s a lesbian and up until now I have lived my life as a want to be bisexual. Although most of my relationships have been with men, I find myself constantly fantasizing about women. Now all of those women have become the face and embodiment of this one particular woman that I can’t stop thinking about, and believe me, I have tried.

I want to connect with her and I am curious if lesbians would sleep with or could come to love a bisexual woman? Is there some sort of political sexual protocol or unspoken code of honor about lesbians sleeping with bisexual women?

Keeping Your Sexual Chakras Open

Dear Sappho,

I have a sexually adventurous girlfriend. Every time we make love she wants to up the ante and I’m afraid I will eventually run out of steam or tricks to whet her appetite. Do you know of any sure fire sexual techniques that outlast the test of time and adventure?

Waning but Willing 

The Sweetest Cherry Just Out of Reach

Dear Sappho,

Have you ever had to deal with unrequited love? If so, how does one manage to continue loving in the face of adversity, rejection or hopelessness. When I first fell in love with this spectacular woman I didn’t realize every other woman in town had their eye on her as well. It breaks my heart that we will never be partners or lovers, but I refuse to not let myself love her. How does a passionate woman like me or a poet like you come to terms with unrequited love?

Unrequited Lover

What Charms You Most?

Dear Sappho,

Regarding the infinite and varied charms of the women you have loved, what charms you Most?

Curious

Hymn to Aphrodite

Glittering-Minded deathless Aphrodite,

I beg you, Zeus’s daughter, weaver of snares,

Don’t shatter my heart with fierce

Pain, goddess,

But come now, if ever before

You heard my voice, far off, and listened,

And left your father’s golden house,

And came,

Yoking your chariot. Lovely the swift

Sparrows that brought you over black earth

A whirring of wings through mid-air

Down the sky.

They came. And you, sacred one,

Smiling with deathless face, asking

What now, while I suffer: why now

I cry out to you, again:

What now I desire above all in my

Mad heart. ‘Whom now, shall I persuade

To admit you again to her love,

Sappho, who wrongs you now?

If she runs now she’ll follow later,

If she refuses gifts she’ll give them.

If she loves not, now, she’ll soon

Love against her will.’

Come to me now, then, free me

From aching care, and win me

All my heart longs to win. You,

Be my friend.

Emotional Maturity = Growing Up

Dear Sappho,

I’m at a lost at how to deal with my parents and their reactions to their adult children’s choices and lifestyles. I’m a lesbian and they seem to think they have a role in choosing my girlfriends. One sister is straight with five kids but they try to tell her how to raise her kids and live her life on a daily basis. Another sister is divorced with no intention of ever getting married again and every conversation they have with her revolves on finding her a husband. We laugh about it when we aren’t pulling our hair out. Life choices they don’t approve of are ignored or boycotted.

Without realizing it they use emotional blackmail and judgmental tactics in an attempt to control our behaviors. Which might explain why none of us is married, or in a traditional relationship. They don’t realize they are teaching us through negative example, and the most important lesson we seemed to have learned from them is to not repeat their mistakes or follow their advice regarding relationship and career choices. Any choice we make is open to their unwelcome criticism and judgment. It is of particular concern that they proclaim anything or anyone they don’t approve of as crazy or mentally ill. I’m getting tired of waiting for my parents to grow up….

Even Alice B. Toklas Had Trouble

dear Sappho

Even Alice B. Toklas had trouble with Gertrude Stein’s relatives. Although Gertrude Stein clearly left all of her possessions to Alice in a will that stated if necessary all art could be sold for Alice’s upkeep, Stein’s relatives seized the valuable  art collection and failed to provide timely remittances for Alice to buy food or pay rent. There are about 1,049 federal laws that benefit legally married couples that are not granted to civil unions or gay marriage. How safe are your family’s assets?

Please inform your readers how they can legally protect their family's assets. 

Having Cancer is Worse than Being Gay

Dear Sappho,

I was recently diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer mets to my bones. I was surprised to find out that telling people I have cancer is worse that telling people I am a lesbian. It’s almost like I told them I have leprosy. I am doing well and expect to live a long time with treatment options and sheer determination. My friends and coworkers don’t want to hear that I am ill. One suggested I keep such information to myself. Not that I’m looking for sympathy, and I do appear to be healthy and normal. But I am still in a bit of disbelief that having cancer is now less acceptable than being gay. Is this good or bad news for the lesbian community at large? 

Cancer is Worse than Being Gay

Requirements for Long Term Lesbian Relationships

Dear Sappho,

What do you think is the most important quality in a long-term lesbian relationship?

Love, sex, acceptance, mutual goals & visions and compatibly are very important but so is reliability, and trust. First I followed my heart then my head and now my gut. Lesbian relationships are different from straight relationships. I’m asking you as the High Priestess Lesbian, what is the best requirement for long-term happiness?

Flirting with Impunity

Dear Sappho,

I love to flirt but find it is usually a labor of love to flirt with other lesbians. Some are too politically correct or uptight to return the favor. Others take it the wrong way and act like I’m proposing we spend our lives together. Gay men seem to have fun flirting and they even flirt with straight men as a form of wordplay. Lesbians seem a little heavy handed in the flirting dept. Do you notice this as well and how does one flirt with impunity anyway?

Before the Flowers of Friendship Faded, Friendship Faded

21 

by Gertrude Stein

(from Before the Flowers of Friendship Faded)

I love my love with a v

Because it is like that

I love my love with a b

Because I am beside that

A king.

I love my love with an a

Because she is a queen

I love my love and a a is the best of them

Think well and be a king,

Think more and think again

I love my love with a dress and a hat

I love my love and not with this or with that

I love my love with a y because she is my bride

I love her with a d because she is my love beside

Thank you for being there

Nobody has to care

Thank you for being here

Because you are not there.

And with and without me which is and without she she can be late and then and how and all around we think and found

that it is time to cry she and I.

An Incomplete Portrait of Gertrude Stein

"Paris Was A Woman" - Gertrude Stein & Alice B. Toklas

Famous Married Lesbians?

Dear Sappho,

With so many gay and lesbian people trying to get the right to marry I was hoping that you would mention some famous “married” lesbians. Do you have some good examples of long lasting lesbian relationships?

I support lesbians and want to hear more about the happily married ones.

Supporting Lesbian

Monogamy VS Polyamory

Dear Sappho,

I am a monogamous lesbian who has had a series of long-term serial relationships but I have always felt that marriage was not for me - even in a lesbian relationship. Committing a vow or  a promise to love just one woman indefinitely, or as some prefer, through-out infinity makes me uneasy. In fact it makes me feel like I could possibly be called a liar in the future. How can anyone possibly promise something that far in advance without knowing all the possible outcomes? 

At any rate, since I was young and had three girlfriends at the same time I have always felt that all lesbians should be free to love any one by mutual choice with the full consent and knowledge of all parties involved. Isn’t that what emotionally mature lesbians did on Lesbos? Marriage has never been the final goal of any of my relationships.

Do you understand what I am advocating and if so can you give some positive examples of how to socially navigate such an ideology? It’s a step further than freeing love from oppression and I’m curious as to whether do you think it is a step in the right direction?

Free Love Evolving

Natalie Barney, Renée Vivien & Romaine Brooks

Read about these notorious lesbians 

Natalie Barney lived her dream.

Natalie Barney & Romaine Brooks

 

                                     Women in Art - Romaine Brooks: Epitome of Elegance

Natalie Barney

Renée Vivien & Natalie Barney

                                                        Romaine Brooks (1874-1970)

Gay Paris, Natalie Barney, and Colette with Flutist Jane Rutter

Notorious Lesbians

Dear Sappho,
Love your blog.  Love you.  I watched the Vita-Violet kiss again. And again. Yum. Yes, It was so lovely.... Do you have any other favorite notorious lesbians you would like to share with us?
Lovely,
Athena

Favorite Lesbians of Mine

dear Sappho,

Loved the Vita and Violet kiss scene you posted. If you had to decide whether you were going to be Vita or Violet, would you rather be Vita or Violet or take turns being both ? 

Decisions, decisions

Vita & Violet Portrait Of A Marriage Lesbian Kiss

Have you ever (been) kissed like this?

National Kissing Day Endorsed by Sappho XXXOOO

Kiss Me Till My Toes Tingle

Dear Sappho,

Tomorrow is National Kissing Day and I think a few kissing tips are in order not just for lesbians, but for all woman and their lovers. I have had many overtures of affection during my life and although houses, cars, vacations and general success are important displays of mature affection and passion, I have yet to find anything more powerful or satisfying than a tender, provocative passionate kiss. 

So Sappho, have you got any great kissing tips you would love to share with your girls?

Kiss me till my toes tingle

Sappho: The Tenth Muse

Plato referred to Sappho as the "tenth Muse" in Greek mythology. The Muses are nine goddesses who embody the evocation of myth, inspiration, music, poetry, art and dances. Who are the other Nine Muses?

Sappho ~~ Lyric Poet

Sappho was an Ancient Greek poet from the island of Lesbos. She was one of the canon of nine Greek lyric poets. Lyric poetry is a form of poetry that expresses personal and emotional feelings. In the ancient world, lyric poems were meant to be played to the lyre. Today Lyric poems don't have to rhyme or need to be set to music. Most of her poetry, which was well-known and greatly admired throughout antiquity, has been lost, or destroyed. Who are other lyric poets in the cannon?

Two Left Feet & The Belle of the Ball

Dear Sappho,

My lover is a great dancer and wants to go out dancing every weekend. She can swing, shimmy, waltz, jitterbug and line dance. She is the belle of the ball. I on the other hand have two left feet. I am embarrassed to be dancing in front of other people and it doesn’t really help that all eyes on my girlfriend. They must notice how bad I am in comparison, plus, she  prances me all over the dance floor like I’m her pretty pony and in truth I am more butch than she is. I want to hide. It’s beginning to cast a strain on our social live. Do you have any suggestions for a reasonable compromise that could solve this growing problem?

Two Left Feet

Emotionally Unfulfilled

Dear Sappho

I’m not sure if I should follow my heart or head on this one. I have been seeing a woman for about 6 months. We have great chemistry, hot sex and have a lot of fun and laughs together. My friends tell me she’s “The One” and I think so too. Recently she asked me to live with her. She was forced to lose her wonderful house after a split up from a long relationship. I would love to live with her, actually more than anything in the world. The problem is; she has never told me she loved me.

I have never been in a love relationship this long without both of us saying we loved each other, or more usually that we are in love with other. I’ve learned not to be mushy or needy with her. I want to take a chance and live with her but I am afraid of taking this kind of a risk with someone who is not emotionally available. What would you do?

Dyke Drama Queens

Dear Sappho,

Why does it seem like most dykes are so emotionally immature and or insecure? Here's an example; I know three woman named Jan, Jane and Janet. Jan left Jane for Janet and they are the talk of the town - but no one can keep their names straight, least of all, themselves. There seems to be lots of needless jealousy and gossip amongst the Girls. I'm sick and tired of Dyke Drama Queens and Dyke Soap Operas.  Jealousy issues are the worse and no one seems immune from thinking their girl friend will run off next. What is the problem with all the dyke drama in lesbian communities?

Using Gaydar to Detect Sexual Orientation

Dear Sappho,

You said that the ancient Greeks did not conceive of sexual orientation as a form of social identity as Western societies have done for the past century. In this post racist world wouldn’t it be nice to look at each person separately and not think in terms of race, color, sex, gender, or creed but the human being inside. 

What a different world it would be if we did not have to see it in such strict terms of duality: male, female, butch, fem, boy, girl. I mean are there really differences between straight and gay people? That got me thinking about gaydar, sexual identity and how to tell the difference. Do you have gaydar and how do you define your sexual orientation?

Homophobia is a Disease

Dear Sappho,

Homophobia is rampant in modern day society, especially in the Bible Belt and Republican dominated states. It is probably the major cause of teen suicide and sanctioned by bullies as a natural cure for homosexuality.

I found you on Twitter and even though there are thousands of gay activists on Twitter I find homophobia exists there as well. What do you suspect is the major cause for homophobia and can it be cured. Did you deal with homophobia in your time on Lesbos and if so, how? 

Homophobia is a Disease 

Sexual Identity: Is it Natural or Socially Constructed

Dear Sappho,

Is sexual identity and orientation natural or essential to the person or is it socially constructed and subject to change? Are people born gay or is it a personal decision to become gay? 


How did your society think and act about homosexuality and sexual orientation in ancient Greece? I think I might be naturally gay myself.

Sappho's Curriculum

Dear Sappho,

I understand you had a school for girls that taught both the graces and the ways of love and wisdom. Some have compared your school to that of Socrates and his school for men. I am in education and I would like to know what the curriculum for these types of knowledge and some specifics about the outcomes expected. I am especially interested in hearing more about how your school devoted itself to the cult of Aphrodite and Eros. Any specific information about how you did this would be much appreciated.

A Lifetime Learner

Were Lesbians More Romantic on Lesbos?

Dear Sappho.

Were Lesbians more romantic in your time? I am so disappointed with the overall consciousness and emotional maturity of most lesbians I meet. I’m not expecting a superior caste of woman but I was hoping for kindness, awareness, self-actualization and last but not least some hot romance. The kind of romance I’m talking about involves flowers, poetry, wine, slow long kisses and a deeper higher form of love.

I don’t want my relationship to be a reasonable facsimile of a mediocre heterosexual marriage. I want true love, true romance and deep connections. When I look out at the motley crew of lesbians available for dating I see some real miscreants, who I would not even want to be friends with - let alone lovers or life partners. Am I being unrealistic or are there some sweet romantic lesbians like me out there looking for the same thing. I may need a reality check….

What Does Love Mean to You?

Dear Sappho,

I think I am in love with a woman who has never really been in love before. Not that she hasn’t had ample opportunity. She has had several long love relationships that involved, children, property and deep important commitments. When we talk about love, philosophically because we are not intimate she confides to me that she has never been truly, deeply, knocked you off her feet ecstatically in love. To me this is the very definition of being in love. It doesn’t happen often or always end happily but this is how I define love.

My question to you is; what does love means to you? How would you define being in love? How does one teach love? Can two people with such different definitions of love be in an ecstatic healthy long lasting love relationship? And on a personal note, although I realize you are Sappho and not Sigmund Freud, do you think that either one of us has a skewed perspective on love?


  

Please Describe the Sapphic Meter

Dear Sappho,

Is there really a poetry meter named after you? Could you please describe that style and explain a little bit about the various terms regarding your poetry form and technique. It seems specific but I can't put my finger on the precise form. Thank you. I am a poet myself and a lifelong huge fan and admirer of your poetry.
Sincerely,
Cathy

Sappho Who?

Who is Sappho anyway?
Just Wondering.....

dear Sappho,

                   Dear Goddess, dear Muse dear heart,

How Can I Find My Soul Mate?

Dear Sappho,

You have a connection to Aphrodite and a great understanding of love. I need advice and wisdom. I am a single Lesbian tired of drama and heartbreak. How can I find my soul mate? I know she has to be out there somewhere!

Thanks,

Longing for Real Love

Recipe for a Good Lesbian Relationship

Dear Sappho,

Got a recipe for a good lesbian relationship?  You know the kind -a long lasting, happy, fulfilled, functional, loving lesbian relationship?
Love to Know

Finding Inspiration and Transcending the Mundane

dear Sappho,

I have been depressed for so long I can’t remember what it feels like to be inspired. I crave, art, sparkling conversation, spiritual connections, romance and community. I seem to be the only one preventing myself from being happy. You are a poet and a mentor and I wonder if you have any ideas about transcending the mundane and finding one’s self in the midst of this confusing and contradictory world we live in. All my physical needs are being met but my soul wants and needs more. Where can I look to find it? I wish you could bottle inspiration like you can perfume.

Sadly Uninspired

Is the Personal Indeed Political?

Dear Sappho,


How I wonder at your words of love and inspiration.  How I would have loved to have been with you on the Isle of Lesbos.  How wonderful to live among women in beautiful harmony.  How can we create such an ideal realm in this day and time of strife and war and sexism and greed and genocide and homophobia.  Is the personal indeed political, and is that enough to make the world safe enough for love? 

B.B.

A Date on Lesbos

dear Sappho,

It would be so much fun to live on the ancient island of Lesbos and spend a day with you. Could you describe a typical date with you and your lover and some of the things you might do hanging out with the Beloved?

Naked Ladies

dear Sappho,

An old friend from my youth recently started sending what she calls 'sex emails' which are like a newsletter of naked young women in all their glory. I have always respected this woman and these emails do not diminish my feelings for her but I am puzzled as how to respond and or what to do with the photos.

I do not want to insult or judge her harshly but I am a little embarrassed by the photos. I haven’t shown them to my lover nor do I intend to. Nor are they that enticing, personally I think an ordinary photo of the friend who sent them is more of a turn on than a dozen or two of the naked ones. I don’t want to distance my friend who shared them, but what am I going to do with them?

Love, Support & the Status Quo

dear Sappho,

My girlfriend has been unemployed for some time now. I think she is tired of looking for work and has secretly given up trying to find a job. I am worried about our status quo and maintaining the same quality of living we had before she was laid off. I fear we will lose our house if something doesn't change soon. It is true that she supported me for years while I had personal problems, but she made 2 or 3 times more money than I do. Supporting her will not be financially possible for me at this time. I am sure if she tried a little harder we could make ends meet. I feel as though my world is falling apart and with it, our love. Any advice to save us?

Not Enough Cuddling or Flirting?

Dear Sappho, 


My girl friend is not romantic at all any more. At first she was but for several years now - she has treated me more like a roommate than as a lover. No more kisses, cuddles, flirting or even intimate talks. I feel stuck and don't know how to get her to communicate. I'm not even sure she likes me anymore. Every time I try to talk to her about it she tells me I'm being silly. Do you think we can overcome such an impasse and where do I start?