Dear Sappho,
I have an uneasy feeling about all this gay marriage equality. Being gay used to be more simple. No lifetime vows were required, just flowers in your hair and a few simple lines of prose. Now the tedious question of morality has raised the bar. What do they expect us to do? I'm afraid marriage would not only change (ruin) my relationship, but it would also alter my identity as a lesbian. They don't call it gay for nothing you know. Do you think gays should embrace marriage or is it just another trick to get us to conform?
Dear Reluctant to Wed
ReplyDeleteI too am uneasy about marriage being a perquisite for long-term relationships I think it’s a trick to get us to conform. Not as many straight people are getting married either. The CDC http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_028.pdf states that he current marriage rate is 6.8% per 1000 people. The divorce rate is 3.4 per 1000 people. In my time marriage was neither mandatory nor expected - but I did live on Lesbos in the 5th century BCE. I prefer the ideal of partnership for my lovers. Is it going to be the dominator way or the partnership way. Give me an equal to love, someone who will let me be myself and not insist that I conduct my affairs according to some outdated religious mandate.
Here is a partnership assessment tool, http://www.partnershipway.org/core-pathways/what-you-can-do-1/partnership-attitude-self-assessment. I would far prefer love be linked to civil rights, freedom, the higher self. That way when the marriage fails - as 50% of them do, you will be left with your self-esteem and individuality intact. No other emotion or action seems to be confined or restrained to other people’s morality as much as love. Follow your heart on this one.
Blessings,
Sappho