Dear Sappho,
I read your post My Girlfriend Left Me with great interest being guilty of such a departure myself, I’d like to tell my side of the story:
I left while you were at work to avoid the drama and the hurt. I left you because you acted like our relationship was a burden to bear instead of a joy to be savored. I left you cause you couldn’t hear me any more, it was like talking into the wind. I left you because I felt lonely when we were together. I left you because you didn’t take our relationship seriously enough. I left abruptly to keep the cut clean and your memory of me sharp.
You want to know why I left you? I left you for asking why - instead of knowing why. I left you because I love you too much to make you suffer my neurosis and expectations about love. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted to wake you up. I didn’t realize you’d go on to fall in love with someone else so quickly. Now that you have, I’m sure I did the right thing, although please know - it did hurt me as much as it hurt you, please forgive me for hurting you.
Dear Hurts,
ReplyDeleteSometimes in our evolution and learning about love, and understanding how to let love flow through us, we make rash decisions and sabotage ourselves without consciously understanding or knowing why.
When you left your girlfriend without warning in the tricky manner that you did, it felt like betrayal to her. As much as we human beings invariably hurt the ones we love, we also undoubtedly hurt ourselves worse. Here - we have lovers who apparently wanted to stay together but were unable to communicate or reach an understanding
If one has not previously succeeded in having intimate, deep personal love relationships, one may be stuck in a pattern of low emotional expectations. Low emotional expectations include living separate lives, lacking quality intimate or personal time, commitments, or focus together. The couple that arrives in different cars and never touch, or the couple who fought the whole way here; both display low emotional expectations.
But what if one has very high emotional expectations? The discrepancy in emotional perspective appears even bigger. I advocate a simple direct approach where threats are unspoken and promises are inherent. We learn our lessons in love best when we are honest and sincere. It creates a fair level playing ground for proving that love can be true.
I wish you both the best
Always
Sappho