Dear Sappho,
World Kiss Day is July 6th, I loved your article on National Kissing Day last year. I was just wondering if you have anything new to say about kissing this year. I am a kissing aficionado, though far from the expert I’d like to be. Any tips would be much appreciated.
OXO
Dear OXO,
ReplyDeleteThe most important aspect is to focus on enjoying the kiss itself. Feeling the pleasure of the kiss is key. Depending on the culture, relationship and context, a person may kiss another on their lips, cheek, head, forehead, and each of these gestures may carry a different social significance and a different kind of pleasure. Kissing is often expressed as a romantic act in western cultures. Brain studies show that kissing between romantic partners lights up the reward and motivation centers and floods the nervous system with dopamine.
Stories and poems from many cultures often tell of the magic or redeeming power of a kiss. We get the word kissing (cyssan) from (Old English), but it took the French to turn kissing into an art. Any good sexual or romantic kiss will soon evolve into French kissing, but who doesn’t know that. Once the kiss is reciprocated, appreciated, and enjoyable, touch the tip of your tongue gently to her tongue.
Kissing is one of the joys of love. It is true that in this world some lips are more kissable. Some women are more sensuous than others and some kisses linger with greater persistence. It takes practice to know the difference. It is one of the paradoxes of life that a perfect kiss is no indicator or prediction of a perfect relationship.
Women often judge the future depth of a relationship based on the first kiss. Either it knocks her socks off or it makes her cross your legs. I once had a four hour first kiss by which all other kisses have been measured and found to be much too short. The most important aspect of that kiss was the way it was organic, unexpected, irresistible and receptive.
Romantic, affectionate and/or sexual kisses differ somewhat in their emotional or erotic expressions. Romantic kisses can quickly evolve to eroticism and sex. Affectionate kisses are platonic and also can serve as greetings, farewells, salutations and gestures of veneration in many cultures. The greatest indicator of a terrific kiss is the anticipation that has built and the affectionate pleasure with which it was received. You can be a great kisser but an average lover.
The human sexual response cycle as described by Master and Johnson is a four-stage model of physiological responses during sex. These four phases are the excitement phase, plateau phase, orgasmic phase, and resolution phase. One of the sex studies conducted by Masters and Johnson compared the sexual acts of gay men, lesbians, and heterosexual couples. The study showed that gay men finished first and left, the heterosexual couple completed coitus and were smoking a cigarette while the lesbians were still making out. Yeah baby.
Technique, while important is not as important as intention and feeling. Surveys show that holding hands and kissing are the number one and two most common forms of physical intimacy among teenagers, with about 85% of 15 to 16-year-old in the US doing it. Making out isn’t just for teenagers; it’s the secret to long lasting intimacy. Lovers who have been together for a while might benefit from make out sessions that involve kissing lessons. Take turns being the teacher/student and practice the way you want to kiss and be kissed.
A good kisser is remembered affectionately forever. Kissing is it’s own reward. Get it while you can, enjoy it when got. Start celebrating today with friends, family, and your own sweet lover of course.
XOX
Sappho